I'm sure she felt the same

I'm sure she felt the same

“I just didn’t think she was attractive enough”

He said


I’m walking upstairs to work

Forced to spend these torturous moments with your arm around my shoulder or waist

While we both walk up to work


As if it wasn’t enough to feel you pressing yourself against the women in me,

Squeezing all of the validation you can get out of this moment,

I get to hear about how “I just didn’t think she was attractive enough”


I don’t respond

Or maybe I do, I’ve stopped registering how I deal with you

Numbing to the fact that I can’t bite your head off like I would with any random guy on the street who touches me the way you do


Or who says ridiculous things like

“I just didn’t think she was attractive enough”


It’s not lost on me that when you come into the office, you find a way to touch us all

The men get a hello

But women

We’re lucky

We get a prolonged hug or, on a good day, a wet kiss on the cheek


They love me

You must think

Not recognizing that we hug you because we know it’s the quickest way to not be hugging you anymore


If one of us said something

Even casually

It would become “oh I just don’t like her vibes”

You’d find a way


And suddenly I understand so deeply exactly how this works


I always knew it happened

Experienced it out on the street my whole life, but I was told I could be whatever I wanted to be

I didn’t understand the logistics of how it worked here, in this space


Exactly how it feels not to be able to say

YOU MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE

STOP SEXUALIZING ME WITHOUT MY CONSENT

DON’T TOUCH ME WHILE I’M DOING MY JOB


Because bye bye paycheck

Now it’s perfectly clear


“I just didn’t think she was attractive enough”

Oh don’t worry, it’s fine

I’m sure she felt the same

As I Lay In Loneliness

As I Lay In Loneliness

MADUIXA

MADUIXA